OK, Rebecca’s comments in our last post were great!! But now, it’s my (Joan’s) turn on the subject. It’s hard to follow up on Rebecca’s perspective, because she makes such great sense about the issue of self worth. I wish that I had known more about Rebecca’s viewpoint when I was dealing with all this when I was younger, I probably would have worked this out much quicker. Nevertheless, any age is a good age to resolve matters of self worth.
I have to agree with Rebecca that allowing society’s values to determine your value is not a good idea. I’ll go one step further. Comparing yourself to others is also not the best plan for building a good self image. I have found that there is always someone who is better looking, smarter, richer, has a better job, etc. For me, comparison to others has been an endless, fruitless task, and has gotten me nowhere in life except to feel badly about myself. Can any of you relate to this? Come on everyone, we can do better than that!
For me, it’s always been about my weight. I have always been a bit heavier than other women. When I was younger, I used to obsess about it. I never understood good eating habits, and my weight would go up and down (mostly I would stay overweight). And so the diets came and went. So many diets….so little weight loss. Finally, twenty years ago, I went to a well respected weight control camp, where I learned proper eating habits and exercise. It changed my thinking about food in that I felt in control of my eating habits, and so I did not have to diet anymore. I was a lot healthier. Nevertheless, my weight didn’t change much for the better. Don’t know why, but it didn’t. The why isn’t as important anyway, as compared to the way I handled it. And, so, even though I was eating and exercising better, I stayed on the path of comparing my body size to most every woman I came in contact with. That was quite a frustrating part of my life. You see, I was seeing myself the way others viewed me. And by seeing myself through the eyes of man, all I saw was imperfection.
Now I’ve changed that thinking. After making the mistake of comparing myself to others far too long, I have decided to measure myself only against what God thinks of me. (Easier said than done.) He’s much more forgiving regarding my flaws. When I began to see myself through God’s eyes, what I saw was love. And so I became much more accepting of myself. This has worked out way better for me and has put me on a path to a better self image, and to being kinder to myself, which translates into U Love for others! Trust me, those closest to me are very happy about this particular change in my life. Actually, I am happier, too.
OK, that’s enough to think about for this week….we’ll meet you back here this time next week! And, if you thought this talk was introspective, just wait until next week’s discussion, which builds on everything we’ve just said. Until then, know you are loved, beautiful, and accepted….just for being you!!!