Deflection Not Perfection

January 29, 2013 1 Comment »
Deflection Not Perfection

Joan’s take on last week’s Something More marshmallow controversy.

Whenever Rebecca and I write our blog posts, we always have the other check it out for comments or corrections. Having that second set of eyes seems to be working out weturn the other cheek cartoon 1 ll. But, when Rebecca finished writing her side of the marshmallow drama she wasn’t too keen on me seeing it. When I first read the post, I could understand why. She didn’t portray me in a very good light on this issue, and I didn’t really like that.

So I asked her to tone it down. That didn’t go over very well with her. Rebecca felt we needed to be honest and transparent about our faults so that it would encourage others to do the same. The first step to change is recognition of what needs to change. That didn’t go over very well with me either. And guess what happened? Yep, we started to argue again about how to write about the original argument!! Oy!! Would we ever learn this principle of U Love???

Fortunately, Rebecca recognized early on in the heated discussion that we were repeating the same hot mess. She quickly calmed down (I took a bit longer); we apologized to one another and moved on. But this left me with a difficult dilemma. My first thoughts on responding to Rebecca’s post were to come out with some serious rebuttal of her portrayal of the event. I knew I could make myself appear more reasonable by telling my side. But after having the second conflict on the subject, and having just finished a post about taking offense at people, I wondered if my initial response would be fruitful.

This caused me to do some seLet the love flow on out cartoon final croppedrious thinking about just why I did get so upset about Rebecca gobbling up the marshmallows. After all, it’s not like our readers could actually taste our pie. If the ingredients weren’t exactly correct, did it really matter? But to me at the time, it did matter….. and it mattered a lot. I had to wonder why something relatively insignificant held so much meaning to me; and why it prevented me from showing Rebecca unconditional love.

After major self searching, I realized my past soul wound of needing to be perfect was opening up again….that old feeling that if I weren’t perfect, I’m a loser. Gee, I thought that one had been taken care of ages ago. It just goes to show you that sometimes unexpected circumstances can trigger an old, unwanted behavior. I realized it was time to stop that thinking before it became part of my mindset again (which I did with prayer and God’s help). Self awareness, reasonably applied, can be a good thing to move us forward to positive change. Prayer to help us through it isn’t so bad either.

So all the notes I made to refute Rebecca’s charges from the last post are now in the trash can. Another crisis has been averted. And, I’m better off for it!  U Love wins again!!!

Let’s talk soon!!!

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One Comment

  1. Homeless Girl 49 January 30, 2013 at 4:57 pm - Reply

    Joan, I didn’t think that Rebecca portrayed you in a bad light. I was actually pleased to read that someone else had faults, not just me. Not pleased as much as encouraged. So thank you for allowing that to be put out there. And thanks to Rebecca for standing her ground. In this world I feel as if I have to perform to a level that I cannot reach, and that makes me sad and withdrawn. I really hope more people share this great concept of U Love!

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