Joan: In contemplating our Something More post this week, I was reflecting on my recovery (physically, emotionally and spiritually) from my accident past December. You may remember me mentioning the accident in various posts, especially the January 11, 2013, post, “An Unexpected Revelation.” The accident was serious enough to cause multiple injuries from head to toe, which fortunately were all healable over time. So, I’ve had nothing but time to do my reflecting.
Clearly, I was recovering, slowly but surely, both physically and emotionally. But what about my spiritual recovery? I knew that wasn’t going very well. As I was pondering my situation, I happened to open the Bible to a passage familiar to me in the book of Hosea. In this section, the text was discussing about turning back to God when you have been far from Him. It read, “So, you, return to your God. Hold fast to grace and justice and put your hope in your God.”
Now, I’ve mentioned in previous posts that I am an avid Bible reader, and, as such, I generally try to apply Biblical principles to my life. I’ve discovered that life works best for me that way. And, if I can be blunt about it, in my younger years when I did not follow God’s Biblical instructions, I had many troubles mostly created by my own foolishness. I soon understood that God had a better way to live life than I did. So, I decided to follow His plan instead. But, what I began to realize in the months following the accident, is that I had experienced one of life’s tests. My response was that I had started to become distant from God. It happened very quickly and I knew it wasn’t good. Hence, it was time for contemplation.
I wanted to discover why I had so easily been drawn away from God. It does not take much thought to recognize that the trigger was the trauma of the accident. One of the wounds I suffered was a head injury which, in and of itself, could throw a person off kilter. I was just plain dazed for weeks after the accident. My friends said I was pitiful looking with so many injuries. They told me I appeared confused and depressed for weeks. And, guess what? They were right.
I remember that I literally needed to have my husband read Psalm 91 (a Psalm of protection) to me before I could even get out of bed in the morning. I kept reliving the accident in my mind and feeling the fear again. All this was just so unlike me. So, how was it that my default in this situation was to distance myself from God rather than to draw closer to Him?
I found my answer when I read that passage in Hosea. I realized that the accident had caused me to fear so greatly that I lost hope in God. As I allowed myself to replay the accident in my mind, I allowed myself to begin to mistrust God. I began to wonder why God had allowed the accident to occur. And I was afraid it would happen again. This line of thinking was a big mistake. It led me down the wrong path….away from God. Left unchecked, who knows where it would have ended.
Fortunately, throughout this difficult time, I did not give up my daily Bible reading. I didn’t feel up to doing my usual Bible studying. All I could manage was to read the Psalms. Day after day, I read the Psalms, one after the other. And slowly, I began to find comfort in them again. Slowly, I began to believe the Word of God again. Slowly, I began to trust God again and know, somehow, He would turn things around for good. I was doing as the prophet Hosea said. “So, you, return to your God. Hold fast to grace and justice and put your hope in your God.” Yes, I began to hope in God again. And when I returned to God, I knew I would be OK.
Think about this. You’ll be OK, too. See you next time.