This week I thought I’d tackle what may be kind of a touchy subject; but I think it would be a good idea to discuss it. It actually coincides with my mom’s recent post about grumbling and complaining. I’d like to talk about gossip (or in some circles called the evil tongue).
Gossip is a serious issue, because it can be just as damaging to a person as if they were physically harmed. I don’t know if some people fully understand the ramifications of gossip, and just how hurtful it can be. Unfortunately, I know this because it has been done to me in the past. And let me tell you, it’s not fun to be the brunt of gossip. I’ve heard gossip be referred to as “murder of the tongue.” I agree. It really can be. Gossip can seriously bring down in flames a person, their character, and reputation.
I’ve heard different opinions about what exactly gossip is. Some say that gossip is saying anything (good or bad) behind someone’s back. While others think that gossip would just be spreading a false rumor about someone. Most people probably have their own ideas about what constitutes gossip. I try to look at it in moderation. After all, we do need to be able to share our thoughts with one another, right? I know for myself that gossip would be talking negatively about someone behind their back just for idle purposes. If it’s something that is going to tear someone down, and not build them up, then I think it’s probably gossip.
In this blog, we talk so much about showing unconditional love by the true Biblical definition of love:
Love is patient and kind. It does not envy or boast. It is not proud or rude. It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs. It does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
When I look closely at that definition, I don’t know about you, but it doesn’t seem like unconditional love has room for gossip. Unconditional love would want to build others up, encourage them, help them, have compassion on them, and protect them….even if it’s towards one’s enemies.
Plus, I don’t think it’s really my place to judge others and then gossip about them behind their back. I don’t always know what the person is actually going through in life. I may not know the motive behind someone’s actions. Only God can truly know those things about all of us. So, I feel I don’t really have the right to judge somebody for something, and then gossip about it or spread rumors. Without knowing what’s truly behind something in someone’s life, I could be unjustly judging them.
Think about it. Would you want someone to judge you for something and then gossip about you? I know I don’t like that. People have judged me and gossiped about me when they didn’t really know what was going on behind the scenes of my life. If they had just asked, they would have found out that their assumptions were completely wrong, and that they were unjustly judging me. Personally, I think there should be a lot less gossip and a lot more U Love going on in this world!
Nevertheless….I do have to get real here. Gossip is tempting sometimes!! When I’m with a group of friends and everyone’s talking about someone, and I have pent up feelings about that person, and I just want to vent, it’s definitely hard to not join in. But that’s where I have to ask myself if what I am about to say is something I would want someone else to say about me behind my back.
As a matter of fact, that’s one of my tests to determine if something is OK to say. I actually think of the saying, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Before speaking about someone, I stop myself and decide if what I’m about to say is going to show U Love or not. Although I’m not perfect, I try very hard to be consistent with this and show U Love when speaking about others.
However, I do understand that sometimes we have to be able to talk about situations openly with one another. I know that there may be times when we may want to share negative feelings or vent about someone with a trusted friend, parent, spiritual leader, etc. At times, that can be helpful in life. In this post, I’m mainly talking about gossip with no purpose, which can really hurt people.
I know this may be a lot to think about, but if we all start to apply the principles of thinking before we speak, and doing to others as we would have them do to us, the gossip and hurts towards one another would get less and less. Consequently, U Love would grow more and more. And, that’s what this blog is all about!!!!
OK, this is getting kind of long, so I’ll say goodbye for now!
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