Here We Go Again!

June 25, 2013 No Comments »
Here We Go Again!

From Joan:

Well, here we go again..…another incident.  I’ve mentioned in previous posts that we are making some needed repairs on our home.  I’ve also discussed the frustrating experiences I’ve had with repairmen and contractors along the way.  I’ve noted the many times I’ve needed to apply the U Love principles (sometimes done successfully and sometimes not).  But, I stay alert to my interactions with others because I find this is prime territory for improving my U Love skills.  I also uncover experiences to share with you in this blog.  This week was no exception.

Here’s what happened this time.  I was discussing my project with a new contractor I had hired on a trial basis.  I knew from the onset that we might not get along well.  I have a very busy schedule, as does the contractor. Whereas, I try to be somewhat flexible, he does not.  We both had strong (and sometimes differing) opinions about the outcome of the project. The contractor was quite rigid about everything, from scheduling to his work ethics.  I soon realized it was his way or the highway.  To minimize conflict and get on with the work, I made the decision to be compliant and do things his way. tool cartoon

I’d like to mention, here, that being compliant was never one of my strong suits, so this was a newly acquired behavior for me.  I know of people who will avoid conflict at all costs.  I was not one of them.  I’ve always been one to face confrontation head on (especially in situations like this one with the contractor, where I feel I am unduly being pushed around).  In this case, backing down from a potentially explosive conflict was the loving choice. I decided to make that choice.  (I credit this victory to applying the U Love principles we write about in this blog.)

 Back to the contractor…… as we began the project, I found I was making a great deal of effort to avoid skirmishes with him.  He expected I would follow his lead on decisions about the work, with little or no input from me.  Yes, he was skilled, but I do have preferences.  I wanted those to be heard, especially on my own project.

You get the picture.  This relationship was destined to failure.  I realized that early on.  My dilemma was how to separate from this person while still showing U Love.  In years past, I would not have cared much about my impact on the other person.  I would have told him off, fired him from the job, and moved on.  After years of thinking about God’s definition of U Love as found in the Bible, I just couldn’t be so callous about it all.  Dang!!  I actually cared a great deal about the contractor’s feelings; I didn’t want to hurt him.  Score one for God!

In the end, I told the contractor that although he was very skilled and had helped me in the brief time we had worked together, I wasn’t able to continue with him on the project for various reasons.  Perhaps he was also feeling the tension between us, because he agreed to separate with (hopefully) no hard feelings.  It all ended on a decent note.

I know that it ended peacefully because I had made the choice to apply the U Love principles.  Things could have definitely gone differently had I chosen the opposite path.  Making choices to show U Love will usually (but not always) lead to peaceful solutions.  This is a good thing, so much so, that I’d like to reiterate God’s standard for U Love below:

Love is patient and kind.ULove Blog Home

It does not envy or boast.

It is not proud or rude.

It is not self seeking.

It is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs.

It does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails!!!

Please think about it!  Have a U Love day!!

If you would like to commit to living a life of U Love, please join our U Love chain here!

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