I just got off the phone with my sister, Brynn, who sometimes helps me sort out ideas for this blog. Brynn said she had some comments about one of my previous posts which she was rereading. I happily anticipated Brynn’s commentary because I value Brynn’s input. After all, she was an English major in college and is quite a good writer herself.
“So, Joan,” she said, remember the post you wrote about the hard boiled eggs?” “Yes, of course,” I answered. “It was one of my favorites.” For me, there were benefits to the way I had juxtaposed the boiling of eggs against the way I control things in my life. It had revealed to me that, after many years of working on this issue, I still had a ways to go.
“But, Joan,” Brynn said, “you never actually told us how to boil eggs in the post!” I was baffled by this comment and almost started to laugh. I actually didn’t know how to respond for an instant. Here I was, pouring out my soul in the post, and what Brynn came away with was how do you hard boil eggs. OY! Was it possible that Brynn missed the deeper meaning of the post, which had nothing to do with how to boil eggs?
And, even further, Brynn is a decent cook. I didn’t understand how in the world she not know how to boil eggs at this point in her life?! Even Rebecca, who is not yet an extremely skilled cook, knows how to hard boil eggs…..I think. I don’t know, the whole matter seemed rather silly to me. It was quite a challenge for me not to make some sarcastic remark to Brynn about her seeming misunderstanding of the point of the post.
I gathered all the self-control that I could muster up at the moment and said to Brynn that I purposely did not tell how to boil eggs since that was not my intent for that post. Gee whiz!! I wondered if anyone else out there was confused about my post? If my own sister didn’t get what I was saying, were there others who felt the same? (I hope there are many of our readers saying, “YES, we do get you!”)
Soon after this exchange between Brynn and me, Rebecca and I were talking with Rebecca’s friend, Zac, who mentioned that the previous eve he was discussing pet peeves with some others. Bingo!! A light bulb went off for me. I realized the reason I got rather annoyed with Brynn was that she hit on one of my pet peeves…..i.e., being misunderstood. I feel unjustfied, disliked, and plain old unloved when I am misunderstood. These are all legitimate feelings, but what was I going to do with them?
I considered my options (none of which was to overlook the misunderstanding and U Love Brynn instead). I could resort to my old modus operandi, which was to get perturbed at the slightest offense and distance myself from Brynn for awhile. Or, I could judge Brynn and make fun of her to belittle her. I could even call other family members and gossip about Brynn behind her back. But now that I’ve been writing this U Love blog for awhile, none of these responses (or any others of their ilk) seemed quite right. As a matter of fact, they all seemed to be incredibly wrong.
It was clear to me that I had exaggerated Brynn’s comments in my mind because they touched on one of my hot buttons. I do not like to be misunderstood. But, after all, what was the big deal if she had focused on an insignificant point of the post? I told myself that Brynn supports my efforts in general, that I should overlook all this silliness, and that I should be grateful for having her in my life. All of which I am doing.
So there you have it. Watch out for those pet peeves which can lead to greater conflict if the feelings are left unchecked. And, as always let’s U Love one another!
By the way, Brynn, this is for you.
How I hard boil eggs:
Place the eggs in a pan deep enough to cover them with water. You can use a glass or metal pan. Cover with water. Put a lid on the pan and place on a burner on medium high heat. As soon as you see that the water is beginning to bubble, turn down the heat to low. Simmer for fifteen minutes (and no longer or the eggs will discolor). At the fifteen minute mark, take the eggs off the stove, empty out the hot water in the sink and rinse the eggs with cold water. They should be perfectly hard boiled! Love U, Brynn!
That’s all for now, folks. See you next time!!
Please join our U Love chain here! P.S. The caricature of Brynn was drawn by Charlie Cummings.