God is supernatural. That’s a given. (Rebecca talks about this in her post “It’s Supernatural.”) Whether you believe He exists or not, everyone understands He dwells not in the physical realm where we live, but in the supernatural realm (or as the Bible states it, in the heavenlies). I don’t know about you, but I kind of like the idea of trusting in a God who is mystical, with super powers. It makes me feel more secure.
I grew up in a household that was full of turmoil. As a child, I felt unprotected, tossed about, and sort of lost. It’s no surprise that, early on in life, I started looking for something to make me feel safe. I turned to the supernatural realm for answers.
I tried every new age technique I discovered. Transcendental meditation, astrology, séances, palm reading, automatic writing, astral projection, hypnosis, mind control, spirit guides, Ouija boards, psychic readings, etc. The list goes on and on. I tried it all. But, nothing changed within me or about me. I still longed for that something special that would bring me peace within.
I distinctly remember the day I gave up on the new age stuff. I was at a new age festival in Atlantic City. I had spent most of my money talking to new age gurus, and was down to my last few dollars. I was absolutely discouraged because nothing they said ever really changed anything in my life. After many years of seeking, I was still the same lost person as ever.
Frustrated, I decided to take a walk along the board walk, when I saw a homeless person begging for money. I decided I was done with the new age lifestyle, and that my money was better spent by giving it to the homeless person. I took those last few dollars in my pocket, gave it to the needy person, left the festival and never looked back.
I didn’t know where to turn next, but I knew there had to be something more. Little did I know at the time, that God had much more in store for me. He was just waiting for me to give up on occultism and turn to Him. That’s exactly what I did. Here’s how it happened.
At the same time that I gave up the new age quest, I was also battling a fifteen year infertility problem. I had been trying to have a baby, but to no avail. I had seen the best infertility doctors in the country, and had tried many of their remedies, but nothing worked. The doctors told me that they had corrected any problem preventing me from a pregnancy. Yet, I was still not able to have a child. The “why not” of it remained a mystery to everyone, especially me.
I cried myself to sleep night after night. I would see other women with their children at every turn. Day after day, I longed for what they had. Inside I was crying out to God, “WHY? Why can other women have children, but I can’t do the main thing women were created to do??” I was in the depths of despair……..and then I heard…. THE VOICE….and the unthinkable happened. For the rest of the story, tune in next post!
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