I hope you’re all waiting with anticipation to hear the next part of my saga (as recounted in my last two posts). OK, so let’s get right to it.
I said in my last post that the doctor had delivered to me the devastating news that I had fractured my back in two places and was not allowed to dance for……..well, no one really knew how long it would be. I described to you my despair upon hearing that news, and how it became one of the most difficult times of my life. After all, my heart’s desire was to become a professional dancer. Unbeknownst to me, though, God had something more in store. (Yes, the pun on my song “Something More” was intended!)
I was beginning the seventh month of my back injury. During that time, I had been forbidden by the doctors to do any exercise at all, except for a small amount of supervised physical therapy. Dance, obviously, was a big No-No. It had already been six long months of bed rest, along with countless doctor appointments, hospital tests, and physical therapy sessions. I felt like all that I had dreamed my future in dance would be was quickly fading away. It was during this down time from dance that God showed me some critical things that He wanted me to understand.
First, was that I was making dance an idol in my life. This point was of the utmost importance. It’s clear from the Word of God that anything I couldn’t live without, or was so important to me that it came before God, was an idol. I certainly felt that way about dance back then. It was consuming my life, my time, and my thoughts. God showed me that He gave me the talent to dance, so it should be special to me, but that I needed to relegate dance to its proper place in my life.
I realized that I could love dance; it could be important to me; but it was not to come before God; and it was not to be my god. God alone was to be #1 in my life. Nothing and no one was to be higher than He was. This was rightfully so. After all, HE IS GOD. My having had dance on such a high pedestal in my life was dangerous, because I was making dance my everything. I was making something that was temporary the foundation of my life. By making anything, besides God, my everything, weakened the foundation of my life because anything, besides God, could be taken away in the blink of an eye. Unfortunately, I had learned that first hand with dance.
I knew in my head that all this was right; but I was having a tug-of-war in my heart about how to walk this out. Of course, I wanted to put God back in His rightful place in my life, but dance had been so important to me for so long, that I felt a little bit afraid to actually do what God was saying to do. I was afraid of what that would mean, relegating dance to a position of less importance. What was God really asking of me? To give up dance for good? I didn’t know if I could do that! I didn’t want to let dance go, because it was too beloved to me.
To my relief, I soon came to understand that God did not want me to give up dance altogether. He had placed the love of dance within my heart, and had given me the talent as a gift. He wanted me to use that talent. God took great joy in seeing me get joy out of dancing! But He wanted me to get to the place in my heart where I didn’t NEED dance; where I could let it go if I had to; where it wasn’t the foundation of my life; where it was not an idol in my life anymore. God wanted to get the layers of my life in a position where they were not easily shaken from having them out of order.
So, I thought a lot about it. Suppose, if whatever we’ve made as our “god” was suddenly lost? Where would we be then, if we’ve not set our foundation in the only steadfast One? We’d possibly be lost, devastated, broken, in despair…… who knows what!? I knew I had already faced some of that. It was clear that I needed to take care of this for myself, right away. I needed to put God back in His rightful place as THE most important thing in my life, as my unchanging foundation. Then, I had to reestablish dance back to its rightful place behind God, not letting dance go, but putting it in its proper perspective. This shift in priorities took me a little while to grasp, because I had been so used to the other way, but I did eventually get it! Yay!
So that was important point #1. The next thing that God showed me I’ll share with you next week. This is enough to contemplate for now. Plus, I don’t want this post to get too long! LOL. So tune in next week for the next part of the journey!
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