Quiet…..Please!!!

May 9, 2014 No Comments »
Quiet…..Please!!!

From Joan:

This is the continuation of last week’s post in which I described some U Love challenges my sister Brynn was having in life. These situations are common to us all, so I appreciate that Brynn has permitted me to discuss some of her personal struggles with you. They can encourage each one of us to search for a better way to show unconditional love when problems arise with others.

To quickly recap from last week, I told you about a nasty encounter Brynn had with some noisy people in a movie theatre. Brynn didn’t handle it well, and she was sorry for that. The friends who were with Brynn at the theatre felt obliged to point out to Brynn that she would get along better with others if she would be kinder when interacting with them.  In reality, Brynn is a kind, loving person. But, like many of us, she just doesn’t show it at times. (To catch up on the original story, just click here.)

In a subsequent incident, Brynn was out to lunch with a dear friend whom she rarely gets to see because they live so far apart. This time together was precious to them since they often go a few years between visits. As they were talking while enjoying their meal, they started to have a problem hearing one another.

There were some people waiting to be seated who were standing next to Brynn’s table. This group of people was talking quite loudly. This, of course, made it difficult for Brynn and her friend to have a pleasant conversation. (Oh no, here we go again with the loud talking.) You can see that this situation was ripe for another disaster.

Brynn was confronted with a dilemma that was oddly similar to the one in the movie theatre (which she was remembering quite vividly). She wanted the people to talk more quietly, but she wondered how that could be accomplished without causing another jam like the one in the theatre? Before Brynn decided how to handle the delicate situation, her friend said she was going to stand next to the people and talk loudly to disturb them in return. The friend felt this would make their point. restaurant cartoon cropped

However, Brynn had come a long way since the altercation in the movie theatre. She knew the friend’s solution was problematic, and would likely cause a blow up. It was not a direct or loving way to resolve the issue. Brynn told her friend that she had a different idea of how to handle the problem in a less volatile way.

Brynn simply turned to the people who were making the noise and said politely, “Excuse me, my friend and I are trying to have a conversation and we are having difficulty hearing each other with you talking so near to us. Would you mind moving away a bit so we don’t disturb one another?” The people were just as polite in their affirmative response to Brynn’s request, and readily moved away from the table. It was that easy. No fuss…no fight….just a kind request that elicited the desired result.

Brynn vividly remembered both these incidents as she read my two posts about my friend, Jim, and me at the Chinese restaurant.  What a contrast between the outcome at the movie theatre vs. the one at the restaurant with her friend, she thought. She felt extremely pleased that she had come so far in learning how to treat people with more U Love.

Brynn explained to me that because her friends had reflected her unkind behavior to her, and had challenged her (with love) to show more love, she started to change. Even further, Brynn claims that the more time she spent with the friends who displayed kinder, gentler behavior, the more she became a kinder, gentler person. (Hmmm…to me it sounds a bit like a rendition of the Biblical principle which would state “Good company builds good character.”)

These stories are really self-concluding, i.e. kindness and showing others unconditional love is the solution to handling difficult situations. I do, though, have a few final comments. First, I want to thank Brynn for her transparency, and for her willingness to share her stories by allowing me to convey them to our readers.

Next, I want to encourage Brynn to continue in her strong walk towards U Love. She is a good role model for the rest of us. I am so pleased that our blog has helped to inspire Brynn to reflect on making positive changes in her life. It has certainly done the same for me. Rebecca and I hope our blog is also challenging many others to U Love more.

Finally, I fully agree with Brynn’s assessment that spending time with people who are kind and who U Love well can definitely affect us for the better. For me, the most important way to succeed in loving others unconditionally is to spend time with God, the ultimate U Lover! Personally, I can attest to the fact that the more time I spend with Him, the more He has been changing me into a better person, one who is able to U Love more. It’s good to hang out with God! I encourage everyone to go for it!

Have a good U Love week! Please sign up for our U Love chain here!

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